My immediate reaction is one of disappointment - once again I have started something with gusto and enthusiasm, only to let it slip away just as fast as I move on to the next thing.
Often, I blame my memory which seems to be challenging me more and more every year - no make that every day - as things I find totally engaging one day are mysteriously erased from all working memory during my sleeping hours and I wake and engage with the new day with all that had consumed me just a few short hours previously totally forgotten.
But I guess, in the name of celebrating 'change' (a term which has consumed me ever since my attendance at the Futures Focused Schools forum in my last blog posts) within myself as a woman, wife, friend, educator and leader in the two years since I last posted, instead of feeling like a failure in the blogging world, I am mentally running through the many things, personally and professionally, that I have achieved and done in the 'missing' two years.
Funny, but I have taken heart in the recent re-emergence of my blogging inspiration Penny Ryder from the new world of motherhood.
We were on such similar paths two years ago, but have been on very different ones in the ensuing two years only, I feel, to have come out at much the same place in relation to our professional standing and aspirations.
Also driving this return to the blogging world is the significant work I have done with myself in the past two years on determining personal and professional goals, setting processes in place to achieve them, reflecting on my progress continually, enlisting the help of professionals and those also engaged in similar quests and actively seeking out and following the journeys of those on similar paths.
An ambition I have haboured with increasing intensity each year, since penning a couple of amateurish, yet fully supported plays in Years 5 and 7 is the desire to write for a living. Everywhere I turn there seems to be an opportunity to write staring me in the face - blogs, social networking, newspapers calling for the musings of regular people like me, professional journals.....
I don't know what I want to write, I just know I want to write EVERYTHING! So by re-engaging with this blog today, I am taking the first step towards hopefully achieving something that I am finding it increasingly hard to ignore.
I don't have the luxury of taking a year off to explore my need to write, nor do I have a summer house I can retreat to to gather my thoughts. However I do have this MacAir (thanks 'Santa'!) and my Piscean tendency to observe the ordinary and romanticise it into something far removed from reality! So, armed with the tools I have, rather than procrastinating by pining for the tools I can't have (yet) I shall embrace the name I gave this blog two and a half years ago with the same gusto now as I had then and GET BUSY!